


Kisses, Hickeys, and Hiding from Hubert

by tansybells



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Ahaha I love that that's a tag, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Girls Kissing, Hubert von Vestra being an Idiot, Humorous Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sleepovers, Trapped In A Closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 07:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24347098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tansybells/pseuds/tansybells
Summary: aka: Hilda's worst morning ever.
Relationships: Hilda Valentine Goneril/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 11
Kudos: 102





	Kisses, Hickeys, and Hiding from Hubert

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse but a burning need for hildagard fluff.

She was so, so comfortable. 

The blanket that she’d pulled up to her chin to make up for her barely-there pajama top was thick and perfectly heavy and the softness of her pillow made it feel as though she was sleeping on a cloud. 

In a perfect world, she would never have to get out of bed.

“Hilda.  _ Hilda. _ ” A quiet, harried voice cut through her sleep. “Hilda, you really need to wake up.”

Hilda reluctantly cracked one eye open. Upon seeing Edelgard’s pale face hovering over her own, she dragged her pillow out from behind her head and plopped it on top of her face.

“It’s too early for this,” she mumbled through the pillow, making a concentrated effort to sound as miserable as humanly possible. “It’s waaaaaay too early, Edelgard; you go on ahead. Just let me die here in peace.”

But before Hilda could close her eyes and fall back into a blissful state of total unconsciousness, Edelgard snatched the pillow out from Hilda’s grasp and tossed it off the side of the bed. Hilda gasped in faux outrage and started to react with something super smart and attractive, but she wasn’t given the chance to follow through.

“This is a serious problem,” Edelgard said, leaning in so close to Hilda’s ear that her breath tickled her cheek. Hilda sleepily giggled at the light sensation, but her girlfriend’s next words kicked her into action.

“Hubert’s at the door. You need to hide.  _ Now. _ ”

Hilda snorted with laughter, an impulsive response before the actual implications of Edelgard’s news sank in. Hubert was there. Hubert, who hated her guts, didn’t approve of her bad influence on his liege, and  _ definitely  _ didn’t know that she’d snuck into Edelgard’s room to spend the night.

She bolted upright, eyes wide. It was only thanks to her quick reflexes that Edelgard was able to move aside and avoid having her nose totally smashed in.

“Wait,  _ Hubert _ ? Hubert’s  _ here _ ?” she asked, her voice rising in pitch before Edelgard placed her hands over Hilda’s mouth to hush her.Now that she had been silenced, Hilda stared out at the room around her. 

And then, she heard it:he quiet knock-knocking of a retainer who wanted to wake up his lord without torturing anyone unfortunate enough to be sleeping nearby.

“Shit, you’re right,” Hilda said, meeting Edelgard’s gaze with an urgency that shook every last shred of drowsiness from her otherwise languid body. “Hubert’s here!”

“What else do you think I said?” Edelgard whispered, the light of early morning illuminating her frantic lilac eyes. Then she sighed, and with a vague shake of her head, gently clasped a hand on top of one of Hilda’s. “I can distract him, but please hurry. It won’t go over well if he finds you here.”

“You don’t have to tell  _ me  _ twice!”

As Hilda hurriedly scrambled off of Edelgard’s bed, picking up whatever clothes she’d wriggled out of since declaring herself Edelgard’s sleeping buddy for the night, she noted that the knocking stopped.

“Lady Edelgard.”

She wrinkled her nose and opened up Edelgard’s window. Ew. Hubert. He was basically an old codger in a teenager’s body and had the voice to match. It was something of a miracle that Edelgard managed to put up with him as much as she did.  _ She  _ definitely couldn’t do it, after all.

Dumping her clothes from the night before out of the window didn’t take  _ that  _ much brain-space. So Hilda took advantage of the moment and watched Edelgard wrap herself up in her dressing gown out of the corner of her eye. To her delight, however, she  _ also _ caught a glimpse of Edelgard quickly glancing in the otherwise ignored mirror on her dresser.

She was probably trying to hide the evidence of Hilda’s presence, Hilda noted with pride. Sure, Edelgard never let her go any further than her collar, but proving that she could work around silly limitations like that had pretty much become a point of pride.

“One moment, Hubert,” Edelgard said, her voice surprisingly level considering the situation. “I am making myself appropriate.”

Hilda smirked. Of course, there was the added bonus of knowing that beneath Edelgard’s fondness for high-necked shirts, there was secret proof of Hilda’s competence.

Suck it, Hubert.

Hilda closed the window as gingerly as she could manage, then looked around Edelgard’s room. She’d had the option to follow her clothes out the window, but then she would have just been running around outside the dormitories in nothing but her sleep shorts and a short, flimsy nightgown. That’s what she got for chucking her over—and  _ under— _ things off as soon as she’d gotten into Edelgard’s room, apparently!

Either way, she  _ wasn’t  _ going to do it.

“Hurry, Hilda!” Edelgard hissed from across the room. Hilda caught her eye and immediately understood what she was trying to communicate: that she was out of time. There was nothing left that Edelgard could do to stall, unless she wanted to pretend like she had come down with something over the course of the night. Problem with that was that it’d just make Hubert even more worried than he usually was, and  _ then  _ where would Hilda be?

There was only one option left. Edelgard, like the perfectionist she strived to be, kept her room just about immaculate. That left Hilda pretty much stranded. Except, of course, for that one option.

She swore she’d never do it again.

But it was time to go back in the closet.

Hilda crammed herself inside just  _ moments  _ before Edelgard opened the door to allow Hubert in. Hangers clattered and dresses rustled as Hilda squeezed herself as far back as possible, all the way until her back hit the back of the closet. Gripping on tight to the door, she did her best to pull it shut without entirely locking herself in.

“I apologize for coming to wake you so early, Lady Edelgard,” she heard Hubert say after the door came to a shut behind him. “However, I came to the conclusion after our studies last night that reviewing the material once more before class would likely benefit us.”

“Yes,” Edelgard said. Hilda snickered; she could imagine  _ exactly  _ the expression her girlfriend was probably making. It was probably super fucking contemplative, her hand pressed against her chin as she thought. Hilda liked that face, but she preferred it when Edelgard was making it at her, trying to decide where she could kiss and be kissed without leaving much of a mark.

Edelgard continued, unaware of Hilda’s consideration of the matter. “I can see how doing so would be helpful. After all, a greater understanding of the topic at hand would…”

Hilda stopped really paying attention after that. Blah, blah, blah, they were talking about school—she’d gotten so freaked out for  _ that _ ? Damn Hubert, ruining her lovely morning just to be a total  _ nerd. _

Like, it had been so  _ nice  _ before he showed up. Edelgard had never been the  _ snuggliest  _ of girlfriends—that wasn’t the reason she liked her, anyway—but the fact that Edelgard had just  _ chilled  _ and let Hilda snore beside her for most of the night? That had been more precious to her than the most expensive present, and Hubert had clomped in with his damn retainerly pomp and grandeur to ruin it.

“I wanted to speak with you about one more thing, Lady Edelgard,” Hubert said after a while. The sudden shift in conversation and tone dragged Hilda’s attention back to the present, and she pressed her ear against the closet wall like that would make hearing them that much easier.

Edelgard hummed, giving her approval to go on.

“Over the past few days, I have noticed the Goneril girl watching you. It seems to mostly occur when she thinks I am not paying attention, but it’s my opinion that she should be reminded of her place, just in case.”

Hilda couldn’t help it. Even as she covered her mouth to try and stifle the sound, she laughed.

The thought of Hubert—rinky-dinky, flimsy-mage, so-anemic-she-could-snap-him-over-her-knee Hubert—trying to take  _ her _ out was just  _ so  _ funny!

Who the  _ hell _ did he think he was?

Oh, right. A stupidly hypercompetent rinky-dinky, flimsy mage with a notable talent in dark magic. 

That  _ was _ why she was hiding from him in the first place.

“What was that?” Hubert asked. 

“What do you mean?” Edelgard said.

“I’m sure it was nothing, but for a moment, I thought there was someone else in the room with us.”

“Hm. How odd. I didn’t hear anything.”

Hilda snickered, this time being deliberate to keep her reaction as quiet as possible. Edelgard was coming through! Not that Hilda was super surprised. Edelgard was so skilled at appearing passive and detached that were Hilda any lesser girlfriend, any less confident in her situation, she might worry that Edelgard didn’t like her at all.

As it was, she was pretty damn sure Edelgard at least  _ tolerated  _ her. Ha!

A numbness started to grow in Hilda’s feet, and she shifted her weight from one foot to the other to try and prevent them from going numb. In doing so, however, she bumped into a cluster of unused hangers. The hangers clattered and clanked against each other in a cacophony of noise, and Hilda froze.

Fuck.

“Someone  _ is _ here,” Hubert said. “Lady Edelgard—"

“Your concern really isn’t necessary, Hubert.”

“I’m afraid I must insist, Lady Edelgard. Despite the mundane nature of our conversation, it would be unwise to get in the habit of allowing such things to go unchecked.”

The sudden, heavy sound of Hubert stepping away from the conversation and towards her caught Hilda off guard. 

Her heart quickening, Hilda pressed herself even further against the back of the closet and crouched down in the deepest, darkest corner. Maybe the workouts that she had to do at the Officer’s Academy actually were worth something; she could already feel her quads aching from the stretch of her position.

The closet door swung open with an ominous creak. Even from her spot hiding amongst the swathes of uniforms and dresses, Hilda could see his sharp amber gaze scanning the small space, looking for her.

Well. Not her specifically.

Or maybe he  _ was _ looking at her specifically?

Each breath she took rattled in her ears like the loudest trumpet as Hubert brusquely rustled through Edelgard’s closet. For a split second, he separated the clothes that covered her, revealing Hilda, and while he didn’t seem to see her, Hilda briefly met Edelgard’s panicked eyes.

Without breaking eye contact, Edelgard shook her head, then reached out to brush her fingers against Hubert’s sleeve.

“Anything?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Hubert said, turning away and letting the closet door fall shut.

Hilda let her shoulders drop as she sighed in relief. Sure, sitting in the dark wasn’t an ideal situation, but at least Hubert seemed to have given up the chase.

“Your attentiveness is nonetheless appreciated,” Edelgard said, her voice muffled behind the door. “Were there something of concern to be found there, it would have been quickly discovered thanks to your actions.”

Hubert just grunted.

“Allow me to get dressed,” Edelgard continued, “and I shall stop by the dining hall before joining you at the classroom. Having something on our stomachs as we review our notes will undoubtedly be helpful.”

“Then I shall go to the classroom and prepare.”

“Thank you, Hubert.”

“Of course, Lady Edelgard.”

Hilda pressed her ear against the side of the closet and listened intently for the sound of a closing bedroom door. As soon as she heard that tell-tale noise, she clambered to her feet, waiting for Edelgard’s signal.

The closet door opened to reveal Edelgard’s satisfied smile. Hilda beamed at her in return. She was the most beautiful creature she’d ever seen, Hilda decided in that moment, with the light from the window on the opposite wall catching her hair from behind.

And then, Edelgard said the one and only thing that could have possibly made her even more gorgeous in Hilda’s eyes:

“He’s gone.”

Ahhh, she wanted to kiss her.

“Holy fuck, I thought he’d  _ never  _ leave!” Hilda laughed, falling onto Edelgard and wrapping her arms around her shoulders. “I was  _ so  _ scared, Edelgard, you don’t even  _ know _ !”

“You certainly have a flair for the overdramatic.” Edelgard chuckled as she let Hilda pull her in. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m surprised that you were able to stay quiet for so long. If your teacher was aware…”

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ tell anyone! I have a reputation to uphold!”

“Or you’ll what?”

“You know  _ exactly  _ what I’ll do,” Hilda said, a promise lingering between them as she pulled slightly away from Edelgard to draw aside the overlapping collar of her girlfriend’s dressing gown. The proof of her presence the night before stared back out at her, dark against the paleness of what skin showed above Edelgard’s high collar. Smiling, Hilda dipped in to press a brief kiss against one.

Edelgard just lifted a pale brow, the corner of her mouth curving with only the barest suggestion of a smile as Hilda met her eyes again.

“I might have forgotten,” she said, a slight roughness woven into her voice before she coughed and looked away from Hilda. “Perhaps a reminder would be appropriate.”

Hilda caught her lower lip between her teeth in an attempt to keep a self-satisfied smirk from surfacing, but judging from the blush that started coloring Edelgard’s cheeks, she wasn’t trying hard enough. Though to be fair, her lack of effort was totally on purpose. Getting to see Edelgard get all flustered like this was a rare treat, so the longer she could milk it, the better. 

“I think I could manage that,” Hilda purred as she tugged Edelgard closer, reaching up to tangle her fingers through the lengths of platinum hair that her girlfriend had yet to put up for the day.

But before she could push herself up onto her toes, press her lips against Edelgard’s, and drink her down like the sweetest nectar, someone knocked on the door.

Hilda barely had the chance to register the interruption before the door unceremoniously swung open to reveal her worst nightmare.

“My apologies for the intrusion, Lady Edelgard,” Hubert said as he stepped into the room, “but I forgot to mention—”

He froze, as did Edelgard beneath Hilda’s roving hands.

“God _ dammit _ , Hubert!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [Fox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxVII/pseuds/FoxVII) for the excellent beta work!~ 
> 
> The next chapter of [sung me moonstruck](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450230/chapters/56211523) should be up next week. Thank you for the wait! It's a long one, haha.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading! I can be found on my [tumblr](https://tansybells.tumblr.com) and my [twitter](https://twitter.com/tansybells). Comments and kudos are always appreciated ❤


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